Don't be frustrated. You're ready to start getting what you want, and that's cause for celebration!
Yes, it's a roller coaster. When you finally turn your mind on to getting what you want, at first there's a gentle breeze of relief. We tend to settle into that new comfort, and envelop ourselves in the paper-thin blanket of our very young and fragile confidence.
Then, when the hurricane winds of change blow in we're forced to tether ourselves to whatever is nearby - usually old habits.
Recognize this cycle?
Thus we return to our weaker selves to sulk, never even having gotten to where real change happens. And who knows how long you'll be there. Days? Years? A lifetime?
If it sounds like I know what I'm talking about, it's because I've been here more times than I can count. But when I finally figured out how to break this cycle and thrive the hurricane winds died down and I found there was not only a path, but a map and some very comfortable pit stops to help me to my destination.
Where would you go if you could find the road? Think about that for a second, because I'm going to tell you exactly what you need to do.
First, decide you're going to get what you want.
Sound simple, right? But it isn't. Most people never get past this step because they don't break it up into parts. In other words, they don't prepare for overcoming the hurricane winds of change.
Our brains are programmed by eons of evolution to avoid change, to conserve energy by making the most of a predictable situation. And when you choose to change your life your brain will suddenly become acutely aware of every single inconvenience that presents itself due to your new direction - completely overlooking the discomfort of your current situation.
So you'll have that to contend with. But that's not all.
When you decide the status quo isn't good enough, it sends a ripple through you that is felt by everyone around you. Your initial response is excitement, but those around you feel anxiety. And so, to tend to their own discomfort, they'll attack you.
These attacks may be subtle - refusal to support you, passive aggressive jabs, you know how they are. Or they may be overt, like a partner threatening retribution or, as I've dealt with often, an in-law demanding a duel.
When those winds blow in you have to be ready to tether yourself down and weather the initial storm.
When you're serious, repeat to your self - out loud - "I have already decided that I am going to get what I want. I will weather this storm tethered to the faith that nothing can stop me."
Don't just say this to yourself, tell it to the naysayers. The more you say it, the stronger your confidence around it will become.
Next, decide on what you want.
Don't give me that look. It may seem like this should be step one, but it shouldn't.
Deciding on what you want takes insight, and honest insight takes courage and strength - the same courage and strength you build when you can weather the storm of naysayers and doubt.
When you think about what you want, don't just put assets in your mind. Instead, sit alone in a quiet place where you can really go deeply into yourself. And envision what the perfect life would look like.
Now, this is key: don't just imagine what you want, think about what you don't want.
When you follow this three step process you are going to succeed. Just don't turn your life into an iteration of The Money's Paw. Be ready to avoid the things you can't live with. That way you'll be more appreciative when you finally get the things you can't live without.
When you've done these two things - you have a tether and you have a vision - then you're ready for step three.
Now, find a guide.
There are many obstacles on the road between you and your goals. It's dangerous to go alone.
There are many who have gone before you, others who have stood where you are today and overcome the odds to reach their goals. Whether you want to lose weight or learn a language, or you want to be your own boss and start a business that excels, your best chance of winning the game is with a partner who's already played.
You're on the road toward something incredible. I'm so grateful that you've chosen to share that journey with me.
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